I have been busy with my classes and painting and life in general.  Sometimes the summer heat makes me lazy and want to play instead of work ... and we all need playtime to recharge our creativity batteries.   This is a poem I just wrote:

The fear of fear

Many years ago 

I was so afraid

of fear

I would hide

from life

from myself

from my 

fear of fear

deep in denial

not the Nile

but more

like a dark

swamp

that swallowed 

the light rays

that tried to 

bring en”light”enment

to me 

and lift me up

I did a fire walk

and crossed
the abyss

of hot coals

and just knew

if I could 

just do this

one thing

I would 

never be 

afraid again

but I was wrong

so very mistaken

and so did not

understand fear

and it’s purpose

Fear visits me

fairly regularly

we are old friends

by now

and now I know

it will always

be part of me

and now 

I receive the gifts

that it brings to me

it shows me 

doorways

to parts of myself

I might never have known

had I allowed 

myself to 

be afraid of fear

and kept

the door shut tightly

against en”light”enment

Fear will bring you

to places where

you need to gather

your courage

unfurl your wings

and know and trust 

there is a message

being brought 

to you

it is a gift

and you must

go through your fear

to get past it

and it will not

leave you

where it found you

the fear of fear

is highly overrated

and fear is 

totally undervalued

and unappreciated

as the catalyst

and transformer it is

embrace fear

and know there is

a blessing that will follow

Unnamed painting

She feels powerful to me, muse-like, and beautiful.  Sometimes the names appear magically and sometimes they seem to allude me.